Engagement Etiquette 101: Do’s and Don’ts
Congratulations! You are newly engaged. You might feel both giddy with excitement and a bit overwhelmed as you are sharing your news and planning your wedding. Here are a few basic engagement etiquette tips to set you on the right track.
Engagement Do’s and Don’ts
Tell your family about your engagement before posting on social media.
Believe me: your mom will be livid if she sees your diamond engagement ring selfie on Facebook before you tell her yourself. It’s normal to want to shout the news from the mountaintops… but tell your family first. If you can, share the news in person. If not, call, Skype or FaceTime them. Then get in touch with rest of your inner circle: grandma, your siblings, your closest friends. Now you’re free to broadcast the news to your wider circle of friends on social media – and enjoy the excitement and congratulations.
Talk incessantly about your upcoming wedding in front of people who won’t be invited.
It’s natural to be enthusiastic about getting married, especially when wedding planning is going to be taking up a lot of your time and energy. But be conscious of who you are gushing to about the diamond engagement ring, the reception venue and the wedding party attire. It would be impolite to talk an acquaintance’s ear off about all your plans if you have no intention of inviting her to the wedding. Keep your sharing to a minimum in front of those not on the guest list, and save yourself some awkward questions down the road. This goes for social media posting as well!
Ask your bridesmaids and groomsmen to be part of the wedding early.
Once you start planning your wedding, make your list of attendants one of your earliest decisions as a couple. You’ll want to ask your bridesmaids and groomsmen with plenty of notice. Share any details and logistics you have already – location, tentative dates, attire, any costs you’ll be covering, etc. – and let them know that you’d be honored if they can do it but you will understand if they can’t for any reason.
Feel that you have to have an engagement party.
Plenty of couples want to celebrate their engagement with a party with friends and family, but plenty opt out of this event. If your parents are dying to host a party as soon as you announce your news, go for it and enjoy yourselves. If it seems like another expensive item on your to-do list that you’re not looking forward to, skip it and save your energy for wedding planning.